Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.
Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,
Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.
Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.
Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.
Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.
aggressing, rejecting, denying, degrading, terrorizing, invalidation and minimizing were all things i dealt with growing up. from the person, oddly enough, that was my best friend. except we became friends at such a young age (2/3 years old, if you can become “friends” with someone at that age—and trust me, the shittiness started when i was about 4) that i didn’t know it wasn’t normal for a friend to treat you like this. it wasn’t until i was 10 and i told my mom about some of my friend’s behaviour that she said “you know what, she kinda sounds like a bully.” not that anything happened after that; we were still friends until about 14 when high school happened, better friends came along, and i started seeing her manipulative shit for what it really was & was able to shake her off. and i’m still kinda fucked up in a lot of ways because of her—especially when it comes to interacting with others about my art, becuase we were both equally skilled artists and she used minimizing to try to make her seem better.
and trust me, all of this was more than “kids can be mean”. it was years of her spreading rumours about me for no reason, laughing at me whenever i cried, making fun of me for something i liked if she could tell i was really passionate about it, and just generally finding any weakness of mine and trying to tease me about it until i cried.
anyway, the point is: emotional abuse is super real and it doesn’t have to be from a parent or a partner. the role of the person who abused you doesn’t change the validity of your experiences.